Picture of Janie

Picture of Janie

Wednesday, July 20, 2011


I am finding so much comfort in the fact that I am so richly blessed by the people in my life right now. This grateful heart of mind extends her hands to give a warm handshake or even better a long embrace. Thank you.

I will begin with my family. Where would I be without them? Even with all of our flaws there is this unconditional love. I have two friends that I have known for over 30 years, one that I've known for over 50 years.

Since I discovered facebook, I have friends as far away as the U.K. I realize that to compare these internet relationships with the other might seem silly, but nevertheless I call them my friends. I have received so much love and support from these people I have never met.

For many of you that have been in my life for even a short period of time know that I call the red bird, the cardinal, my friend. This little bird has always flown into my path whenever I needed a sign that God was there to show His love and His nearby presence to me.

As of this summer I'm adding the lightening bugs to this list of friends.
It's almost as if I am seeing them for the first time. I do believe this new awareness and appreciation for these little bugs with flashlights attached to them results in my sobriety this summer. The last two summers were spent on days of drinking resulting in going to bed by 7 p.m. I will greet one of them with a "hey you" each time they come and sit with me on the porch.

Of course I can not leave out the moon and the stars. I smile at them and they always smile back.

There's so much to be said about friends. The list could go on and on and on.

Monday, July 4, 2011


Juliet is on her balcony and bids Romeo goodnight with the words, "Parting is such sweet sorrow." This phrase is such an oxymoron that combines contradictory ideas of pleasure and pain.

I would imagine that Juliet's heart longs for the following day to see her
Romeo, and that is why she can use the words, "sweet sorrow."

For myself there is no tomorrow, and yes this does bring my heart sadness. However, the sweetness of the farewell is that I have been strong enough this time to do the "parting," and to not hang on by that thread of false hope that things will change.

I believe by writing these words down they will be a declaration that I have done the right and loving thing for myself.

Sunday, July 3, 2011


Our family had finished with dinner. My oldest granddaughter, Madelyn, reads from Daily Devotions for young teens each night. Tonight's story was about two sisters who were in Russia for a short-term mission trip.

These girls were on their way home from the market. The girls had purchased a bag full of oranges which were rare in Russia, especially at the end of winter, while at home in California they ate them everyday.

They saw a tired looking woman sitting on a bench. They sat down beside her and one of the girls gave the lady her entire bag of oranges and a Bible. The story spoke of how the other child only gave her one of her oranges. Once the girls arrived back to their room, the little one who gave only one orange felt so sad while the other who gave her entire bag looked radiant! Moral of the story: the little girl had seen the joy that comes from a generous heart.

I sit at the table and watch Madelyn's face as she reads. When she gets to the part of how sad the little girl was that she only shared one orange, she tilts her face up to me and our eyes lock. I can see her eyes begin to moisten with tears, as were mine.

This simple moment has so moved me, and I could almost feel the brush of angels wings around our little dinner table this night. I leave feeling so grateful for one of those very special moments.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

The End

You know it is dead
When there is nothing left to speak.

Conversations are empty
Only talk of the weather
or what we had to eat.

No more sweet words to whisper
Or hear in my ears
Only longs pauses
And breaths of despair.

No more energy to rise up
From this sea of death.
One more gasp for air
And I'll put this thing to rest.

I'll return to bring you flowers
And kiss the earth above you
Only to remember those
Sweet things of our past.