Recovering

Hello. My name is Jane, and I'm an Alcoholic. I will always be in a state of recovery.

Some of the definitions of the words "recover" and "recovery" are as follows:

• To get again, or regain something lost or taken away. 
• To regain strength, composure and balance.
• Restoration or return to health from sickness.
• Restoration or return to a former and better state of condition.

Alcoholism is not the only thing I am recovering from. Yes, it is a "one day at a time" thing, but recovery from a lifetime of my own personal circumstances have required an "overhaul."

We are told to live in the moment, to be present in the moment, and to only focus on what is going on this moment and today. Not only do these reminders help me with my Alcoholism, but with everything else I am recovering from.   

I love the words "restore and renew."  These words have been my mantra for the last nine years.  One day a picture of a house being gutted out came to me. I walked around in this house.  There was so much debris, dust and rotten wood. This house was under construction. This would be a long and challenging process, one which would require great patience.

I likened this picture that came to me as my life. But I would no longer think of those two words, "restore, renew" with thoughts of butterflies and daises in my mind. This reconstruction of my life would take courage and was not for the faint of heart.

The last nine years of my life had quite a bit of heartache and pain..most of which I was the author of.  However, I do believe that more growth, change and "reconstruction" has taken place during this short period of my life.

Do I look forward to more of these struggles of the heart and mind? Yes and No.  The pain I've experienced as been heart wrenching and is not fun!  My prayer is that I continue to grow, to change and to love, and if the constant restoring of this house of mine is the only way to guarantee this change I will welcome it...and say "Come On In The House!" You are welcome here.