Picture of Janie

Picture of Janie

Sunday, January 31, 2010

I am who I am, but I'm getting there.

Let me start off by listing the 10 things I like about myself, in doing this I won't appear to be down on myself and negative to my other bloggers. And then I will state the areas that need improvement/a little tweaking you might say.

1. I am a compassionate, loving individual.
2. I am a good listener and listen with my whole heart.
3. I am a good and loyal friend.
4. I am a loving sister.
5. I was a wonderful mother to my wee ones and still am now that they are grown.
6. I take any job given to me with full responsibility and do it to the best of my ability and with excellence.
7. I am a good daughter.
8. I am a good Grammy to my grandchildren.
9. I am on the road to becoming a good writer.
10.I love God with all my heart, soul and mind.

Okay, now that is done I'll get on with the business of telling you a little about myself. I'm from a long line of strong Irish women who as one of my cousins said at a family reunion 30 years ago, "Those Williams women don't mince words." 99% of the time I speak with love, but when someone has crossed a line with me, watch out! This is an area I've been working on with God's help and reading the "Four Agreements," specifically the chapter on "Don't Take Anything Personally." I've had to pull that book out once again, because I do realize that when I get into that self-protective mode it is based on fear. I want to rid that need to be accepted. To be right. To defend myself. It is usually based on my past wounds that I react the way I do. I'm not making excuses (or at least I hope not). I think I'm moving in the right direction of taking a look at when I react this way, even if it's after the fact.

My Nannie, my mother's mother, was one of those Williams women that didn't mince words and so was my mother. My mother used to tell us the story of how my Dad wasn't afraid of many things, but he was afraid of Nannie. Back in the day when you had to have your parents sign for you if you were under a certain age to be married (1951), my Nannie refused to go with my Mom and Dad to sign for them. So that left my Grandfather, which surprised the heck out of me. You had to know him to know where I am coming from. One of the reasons she wouldn't sign was because my father was a Seventh Day Adventist and my Nannie was of the Church of Christ Fellowship.

Luckily I was one of those grandchildren that would wrap me up in a blanket and take me home with her when I was sick. I have a twin sister so Mama's hands were full. She didn't talk a lot; she didn't need to. I felt the love from her all of the time.

I have a pattern for being attracted to the "wrong" men. Toxic for me. On the positive side I'm taking a real good look at that also.

Whew! This has worn me out. I'll stop here. Hope you accept me for who I am.


  1. Of course we accept you for who you are.... A GREAT PERSON!!! Thanks for sharing!

  2. Absolutely, Janie. You are a treasure!

  3. Your comments warm my soul! Thanks Marty and Jenn. Love to you both. Janie

  4. Hey Jane,

    As I've talked about so often, I think it is very helpful to prayerfully consider problems in ourselves that we need to fight with God on. I'm glad that you started with a positive list, though; sometimes, I think we can get too overwhelmed with the things that need improving... I know I do. Another thing I think we should always consider is to carefully ask God for discernment in what is truly wrong, as in sinfully wrong, and what is perhaps an area that needs improving in some way but not necessarily sinful. I think that makes a world of difference for me! It helps me focus on what is most important. We will certainly never be great at everything or perfectly mature about everything or completely wise and knowledgable, but I do think God can help us live humble, holy lives that lean on Him and allow the fruits of His Spirit to be produced through us. In many ways, He may not rid us of weaknesses (like Paul's thorn in the flesh), but I do believe He will enable us to please Him!! And that is a wonderful thing to know.

    From everything I've learned from you, dear, it sounds like you are on the right track, allowing God to reveal things to you and help you work on them in His time!! He is great and awesome; as long as you rest in Him, you're doing right, and of course your brothers and sisters will accept you (if anyone ever doesn't, perhaps the problem is on their side...)! Lots of love.

  5. Ruth, You have such an ability to bring balance with everything you say to me. Getting overwhelmed with things that need improving is so true for myself. I'm taking baby steps in learning how God has His own timetable and deals with each of us as individual snowflakes, dealing with me as His loving child- one thing at a time. Thanks for the wonderful comment my true mentor. Janie

  6. Thank you for those kind words, Janie! Being able to comment in a way that is truly helpful is an answer to prayer for me; I am so honored that God has started using me in this way! It's exciting to feel words from Him flowing out of me and see that they are touching you in a positive and helpful way. So glad to have met you through blogging! Love to you, sister.

  7. Appreciate you sharing and your transparency. Thank you for your visit at my blog. Blessings to you and yours.

  8. Blessings to you and yours also J.B.R. I am who I am, but want to be who God wants me to be. Janie