Here it is January 2, 2010 and these first couple of days into the new year have been very emotional for me. I almost felt like I had taken ten steps back, regressed in my path of maturing emotionally and healing.
I was emailing one of my facebook friends I'm sure you all know, Dawn Sievers, whom I consider to be a kindred spirit and wonderful writer. So much to learn from her and so much to love about her. I'm not just throwing empty compliments out there friends, this is from the bottom of my heart. Back to what I was saying, I get off track so easily the older I get.
I was sharing with her a story concerning living the new life as a single woman after being married for 33 years, getting married at 18 years old! I was still such a baby and had not taken the time to grow and find out who Jane was.
God had promised to me two things during this new time of being alone for the first time; to restore and renew me. Wow! That sounded great! I was all smiles in my heart as I should have been. However, after a few more difficult months down the road, I began to question God, "hey, what about that restore/renew promise You made to me?" And then, automatically I got this visual of an old house under construction, needing so much work. I personally don't know what all goes into this process except by watching on P.B.S "This Old House", but then I began to understand the difficult process of restoration. I began to see all the old boards being torn down, sheet rock, dust everywhere, a total mess!Not a pretty sight to see in those beginning days of restoration of this old house.
Well, that's been a few years ago now, and God is still doing His work on and in me and it's a painful process at times, but will be well worth it in the end.
I will quote what my friend emailed to me: "The mental image of your own personal structure being rehabbed eventually presents the beauty that was always there." Awesome! Thanks Dawnie.